Of Blood, Water & Karmic Bonds

A very dear friend - someone I connect with at a subliminal level - left for a far away land over the weekend. Our parting was painful and my sense of loss immense. All the more so because I was only too aware of the vast distance between us and was not sure as to when we would meet next. The last time I experienced a similar gut wrenching emotion was back in the eleventh grade, when I had to say goodbye to a much adored brother at the end of his Indian holiday. It was the first summer that we had bonded and I was quite bereft as he boarded his flight back home.

I know this present feeling of pain and sorrow will abate in intensity, especially in view of the wonderful advancements in technology which offers us so many avenues of connecting with our loved ones. But my friend's departure also got me thinking...About how fortunate I was to have effortlessly discovered an almost karmic bond with a person who chanced my way one fine morning..And to have been given the opportunity to enjoy a wonderful relationship marked by freedom, unconditional love, very little judgement and a lot of laughter.

While it is easy for us to find people to bond with from within the confines of our family,it is not very often that we come across a person who strikes a chord within us from the very first moment we lay eyes on them. But every now and then, we do come across a perfect stranger who breezes into our life to claim a special niche in our heart for himself/herself. So much so that we often wonder how we ever survived not knowing him or her for so many years?

Today when I look back, I realise that I have been uniquely priveleged to have been touched by some very special people, who cheekily waltzed in and changed my life forever. A lot of them have been and still are, more family than family.

Strange thoughts for a woman who as a young girl grew up on a steady, unremitting diet of instructions for life – to be the epitome of genteel politeness and good breeding, grace in the face of hostility, maidenly modesty at all times, and the golden maxim: cherish blood which is thicker than water any day. Although my innate rebelliousness periodically reared its truculent head to challenge some of these directives; for the most part, I did make an honest effort to embrace these maxims.It was only when I left home with the grim determination to find my path in this world, that I had the opportunity of testing the mettle of these sacrosanct commandments.

A naive small town girl in the big city, it was rather difficult for me to affect the demure maiden act in an risqué atmosphere at work,when stalked by hormonally overcharged admirers or while fighting for bathroom rights with 6 other roomies. I must admit that when faced with the harsh realities of life with no family to run to for dutch courage or comfort, the last thing on my mind was grace, dignity or feminity. Life on the single track also meant that I was responsible for me...There were things to do, places to go, people to meet, friends to be made, new horizons waiting to be conquered...And also, there were decisions to be made, of which not all qualified as smart ones. Luckily for me, the very act of fending for myself brought some very special people my way, with whom I connected so deeply that I was able to fall back on their sage advice in moments of need. And it was only a matter of time before the gilted 'blood is thicker than water' tenet had faded away from my psyche.

Do I regret it? Most definitely not!. Like me, most of my family have gone their seperate ways to different lands and found their own paths. While this did not undermine the love we bore each other, it most definitely did enable us to expand our circles of trust to include people with whom each of us have connections that can only be termed as karmic.

It is indeed difficult to explain these connections, but for me, a much loved quote by Maya Angelou sums it well
“I do not believe that the accident of birth makes people sisters and brothers. It makes them siblings. Gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood are conditions people have to work at. It's a serious matter. You compromise, you give, you take, you stand firm, and you're relentless...And it is an investment. Sisterhood means if you happen to be in Burma and I happen to be in San Diego and I'm married to someone who is very jealous and you're married to somebody who is very possessive, if you call me in the middle of the night, I have to come.”

Call it luck or destiny but sometimes, the ones who heed your distress calls and arrives to hold your hand in your moment of need, are the sisters and brothers of the soul rather than that of blood.